In-You-End-o, Please - Tedler AU
by Madagascar Queen
Summary: This is for those with a case of innuendo fever and Tedler fans. This is an AU so Ted 13. Once-ler 23
1. In a Hot Spot

**Just a case of innuendo fever XD! I'm not a BIG fan of Tedler. I would see them as friends or brothers. This is an AU, so their age is different. Ted=13. Once-ler=23. Enjoy the innuendo for our naught little minds!**

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><p>The sun was rising and the truffula trees were drifting in the breeze in Greenville. Many months ago, he met a young entrepreneur called Once-ler. He makes an invention called the Thneed, made for every use. He made a promise to a forest guardian, the Lorax, that he wouldn't chop another tree down again. He instead plucks off the tuffs, for they grow back faster if whole tree isn't chopped down.<p>

The Thneed creator would often visit from his cottage to the Wiggins' residence when he's on break from knitting all those thneeds. Audrey, Ted's new girlfriend, stopped by inside to look for him about her new art. She walked upstairs and before she knocked on the door, she could already hear him talking in an annoyed tone. "Come on, man. Just get it in there already."

She leaned her ear to the door to hear what he meant by that. Not only that, but she can hear Once-ler, too. "Hold on a sec. I need to move my legs a bit. Now this may hurt a little." Assumptions started to fill her head as he eyes widened. "They're not doing...are they?"

Norma, Ted's grandma, came by and noticed her kneeling to the door. "Audrey, honey, what are you..." She shushed her off and gesture her hand to the door. "You gotta hear this," she whispered. At that moment, they both leaned their ears. They can hear short forced groaning in the other room.

"Ow! _'This may hurt a little?'_" Ted asked angrily. Once-ler yelled back at him. "Well excuse me for my size, but I warned you. Just move your hips closer." The girls could hear moaning and heavy movement. "How can I? It can't fit," the youngest complained.

Both stiffened and gawked at each other. "Are they really...?" whispered Grammy in shocked. Audrey kept shaking her head in denial. "I don't know, I don't know!" she whispered back almost getting louder. The old woman's hands were already shaking. "Well... h-how will we tell his mother?"

"Tell me what?" They both jumped up from a voice behind them, managing to keep quiet. It was Helen, Ted's mom. Quickly they shifted their arms and shushed at her, but unfortunately, the mother was already on to them. "Alright, what are you hidi..." she asked out loud, but Norma tapped her can on her daughter's lips."Uh, sweetie, I don't know how to say this but...you should hear this yourself," she gestured at the door.

The mother decided to play along and placed her ear. The movement inside was getting really rough. Ted sounded like he was in agony. "I'm telling you, it won't fit." She could hear the beanpole grunting. "Just hold still. I almost got it in," he moaned with force. She could hear their moaning and grunting getting louder. She could feel her hair behind her neck standing up. She gagged as her own vomit shot up her throat. At one point, they groaning turned into a yell. Her son and this young man doing...?! She didn't want to finish the thought. She heard enough! With rage fueling in her body, she instantly busted through the door. "GET OFF MY BABY, YOU SICK-what?" The anger turned into bafflement in a flash.

The shout made the boys jump and slip on the Twister game mat, collapsing on each other. The slip pushed the spinner towards her feet. "Mom, we were in the middle of a game," her son whined, buried by the eldest. The salesman hoisted himself up. "Hi, Ms. W. Ted's just whining cause I was kicking his butt in this game," he grinned smugly at the boy below him. Audrey and Norma peaked through and were baffled, as well. All three girls sighed with a huge relief.


	2. Well, This Sucks

Today, the truffula forest was in a heat wave. Once-ler took a break from all that thneed knitting to relax, and Ted came to visit him. The bar-ba-loots relaxed under the trees and ate the truffula fruits, the humming-fish were swimming in the streams, and swamee-swans kept cool by their flying. They didn't mind the heat. However, they'll experience a hotter assumption in the Once-ler's cottage. What they'll hear will turn their heads upside down.

A swamee-swan landed on top of the cottage roof. Out of nowhere, it could hear Once-ler's voice "If I were you, I wouldn't bite it." It can also hear Ted's. "Why not? Some people do." It didn't bother to fly inside, so it just listened to Once-ler talk. "Biting it's too quick. It's better to just suck it." It sounded like Ted went along. "Alright." Its feathers stood up! It sounded like...no. It couldn't.

A few other swans and a couple of humming-fish stopped by to see the salesman's got any marshmallows left. They stopped dead on their tracks when they heard sucking sounds. "See, Ted? You get more taste by sucking it, but you're a bit off. I'll show you." All their eyes widened!

The sucking noise was not only getting louder, but getting moist! A fish covered the ears of another. Were they doing...? The teen sounded shocked inside. "I didn't know you'd get the _whole_ thing in your mouth!" The eldest softly moaned and pulled something out his mouth. "Well, kid, it takes practice. You just got to relax the throat. Now you try."

Try what? What were they doing in there?! Their heads were filled with denial and terror! Even if they believed it, they didn't want to! Again, they hear sucking and a light gag. "You're right," Ted said with joy. "Why haven't I sucked it instead long ago?" Long ago? Were they doing this before?!

A few bar-ba-loots saw the commotion and joined the others. They can hear the loud sucking noises. A light moan came from Ted as they could hear him shoving something in his mouth. "Man," Once-ler chuckled. "I didn't think you'd fit it in your mouth on your first try. Fast learner."

"Mmmm. A bit tart, but _very_ tasty!"

"What did I tell you? In no time you'll suck it down dry like a pro." Gasps filled outside the cottage. A bar-ba-loot was covering Pipsqueak's ear from the suggestive audio.

The guardian, the Lorax, stepped in to find out what was going on. "Alright, what's all the ruckus?" A swan pointed its ear and gestured it to the door. He heard nothing but wet and moist sucking inside. He heard the beanpole talking to Ted. "That's right. You don't want it to stick to your tongue. Make sure to get it moist." Suck what? Get what moist? The wet sucking got quicker! His fur rose up! "Hey, careful. You're dripping on your hands. Oh, and look at this," Once said teasingly. "You're staining your shirt." The guardian sputtered with horror! Whatever's going on has got to stop! He pointed the knob at a swan and the swan opened the door. "WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOI..." He was cut off with instant confusion.

The boys on the bed jumped to the Lorax's yell. The shout made them drop the popsicles. A green apple pop on Once-ler's lap and a strawberry pop on Ted's shirt, which is what stained it. "Geez, mustache," the thneed creator yelled annoyed. "Don't scare us like that." The youngest wiped the wet stains off and noticed the other animals at the door, too. "Hi, guys. I thought I'd bring him freeze pops instead to keep us cool. There's more inside if you want any." he pointed to the cooler. The animals sighed with relief and happily went inside. Getting in, Pipsqueak gibbered a question to Lorax (What did you thought they were doing?). "Uh...I'll explain that when you're older," the guardian replied awkwardly.


End file.
